I am not the only one worried by this

Hey Bento, you remember I posted about the Large Hadron Collider about to fire up at CERN last year? Basically they haven’t been able to switch it on yet because bits of it would have fallen off or something, which cheered me up – at the time I worried that it could cause a total protonic reversal. Now it seems, it’s even worse than that; according to these dudes in Hawaii it will cause a mini black hole right under my bathroom here in Geneva which expands and expands to swallow the universe, or maybe turn the world into a small turd-like lump of “strange matter” shaped like a burrito. 

And what do the CERN scientists say to reassure us? Basically, they don’t know. According to one of them, Dr Arkani-Hamed:

because of the dice-throwing nature of quantum physics, there was some probability of almost anything happening. There is some minuscule probability, he said, “the Large Hadron Collider might make dragons that might eat us up.” 

Fucking hell.

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4 thoughts on “I am not the only one worried by this”

  1. You are such a moron, Baruch. Of course nothing will happen. The same theory that predicts the black holes predicts that they will also instantly evaporate. You can’t have one without the other happening. What the Hawaiians don’t get is that if they think scientists got it wrong on the disappearing bit, then they also got it wrong on the appearing bit.

    Sort of like being worried that the dragons might eat us up but glossing over how they might appear in the first place.

    What would Spinoza Do? He’s flip the switch. Repeatedly.

  2. But if there is a black hole generated that swallows up the earth, then it will eat you up first, except that time will slow to a standstill as you approach it, so it won’t actually eat you — you will just sit there in suspended animation, waiting for the inevitable to happen. If you hadn’t been ripped to shreds by gravity shears first, of course.

    Such a black hole would also answer the question as to where all the other intelligent life has gone in the Universe. Turns out that all those black holes we’ve discovered are past civilizations finally building their first — and last — LHC.

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